Would the FCC Fine Someone Reading these Bible Verses on the Radio?

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled." -- Ezekiel 23:20-21

So many of the Theologically Correct crowd worry about their kiddies leering at skin on their computer screens yet remain unaware of the naughty bits within the Bible. 

In their self-righteous fervor to turn the US into a Christian version of Afghanistan, pro-censorship forces risk making it illegal to put these portions of the Bible on the web.  So these hapless busybodies don't realize that they're in danger of shitting in their own soup! 

Here's a shocking example of incest and other Family Values:

"One day the older daughter said to the younger, 'Our father is old, and there is no man around here to lie with us, as is the custom all over the earth. Let's get our father to drink wine and then lie with him and preserve our family line through our father.'" -- Genesis 19:31-38 (NIV)

(The rest of the story's even worse: read it here.  And if you need pictures, here's a version done with Legos!.)

Here's the very first penalty for early withdrawal:

Then Judah said to Onan, "Lie with your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother."  But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother.  What he did was wicked in the LORD's sight; so he put him to death also. -- Genesis 38:8-10 (NIV)

Justice, Old Testament Style (aka "Maul-rats get the death penalty") 

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!"  He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.  And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria. -- II Kings 2:23-25

Infanticide, anyone?

"O Daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction, happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us -- he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks." -- Psalm 137 (NIV)

(Note: this passage doesn't condone infanticide as I'd once argued, just predicts the mood of those doing the killing.  Still, the violent imagery would cause fits among censorious folks if this was in a secular context.)

Some sweet erotic passages (and please try to avoid any bestiality jokes):

"A loving doe, a graceful deer - may her breasts satisfy you always..." -- Proverbs 5:19 (NIV)

"Your breasts are like two fawns..." --Song of Solomon 4:5 (NIV)

How about some violence, scatology, or even violent scatology?

"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts." -- Malachi 2:3 (KJV)

"No one who has been emasculated by crushing or cutting may enter the assembly of the Lord." --Deut. 23:1
"But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you? "-- 2 Kings 18:27 (KJV)

(Thanks to ^Tremor^ for this one.)

While the total lewdness summed up in the Bible probably wouldn't exceed the countless "begats," it does shatter the implied claim from Those Who Censor that their own religious tract remains clear of shocking material.

The litmus test: if these passages were found in literature, or better, if pictures portraying these events were shown on a web page, would the Wildmons and Falwells of the world protest? If so, their own Bible isn't even Theologically Correct!

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